Larsen's....life on the 'other side'...

back on blog....

2009-03-27T07:18:00.000-07:00

8 Long/Short Weeks

We’re back on blog with LOTS to update you all on!! It’s super challenging to even know where to begin….SO much has happened and changed since we last posted!! Talk about a really wild ride!!

Eight weeks ago we arrived in Amsterdam….yes, eight. Totally crazy. The weeks have flown by so quickly. And the weeks have moved by very slowly. It all depends on the day and the mindset! Much has changed and much has stayed the same.

We boarded our plane in Columbus, Ohio on February 1st amidst much happy/sadness! Tears and laughter, closing chapters and opening chapters, dreams becoming reality, waving good-bye and waving hello, empty nesters leaving the nest, hopeful and fearful. In one ‘long/short’ flight our lives are forever changed and yet so much the same!!!

One of the greatest changes has been the way we are sharing life with our family & friends back in the States. Thank God for modern technology!!! I (roxi) truly could not have made this move without skype. Instead of talking with my kids and granddaughters face to face every day, we now talk most days with at least some of our fam via skype! It is really amazing just how connected we feel….just because we actually get to see each others faces!!! The e-hugs & e-kisses are surely not the same, but we are learning to share life in new ways and it’s not so bad! We’ve also developed a new love for video taping our everyday life here in Amsterdam so you can all stay connected with us! Our goal has been to post a new ‘life video’ every week, so check them out on Facebook or You Tube (search Bernie & Roxi)!

We have already found an apartment and have been living here now for almost a month!! Our new address is:
Groenmarktkade 12 #3
1016 TA Amsterdam
Netherlands
So, we are setting up our new home and things are beginning to feel more comfy. The thing that is very different about our home here is that we need to walk up 3 very narrow, winding flights of stairs to get to our front door (you’ll see on the video tour!!). One would think we would be losing lots of weight very quickly!!! Another difference is that our patio is now on our rooftop!!! Bernie will be grilling from our roof top terrace as soon as the weather warms up a bit!!! Watch out Amsterdam!!!

We are working hard and much has changed in this area!!! For starters…we are working together!!! So fun! After 33 years of marriage and Bernie going off to work by 6am every day…we are now having breakfast together and going off to work together!! (other than this weekend….Bernie, Eric, and John went to Copenhagen, Denmark to visit and do some research at the Copenhagen Vineyard). Our ‘work’ for now is learning to live in this culture, meeting new friends at the markets, café’s, pubs, developing and investing in the relationships with new friends in our small group, having lots of gatherings to get to know people,….soon to be language learning, team meetings, retreats….lots going on already (same/different)!!

Overall, life is good and we continue to wake up each day humbled and amazed at the work God has called us to. We are overwhelmed at the need and the call, BUT GOD is at work preparing many to hear the Good News of Jesus! Our overall sense is that many folks have an interest in anything that can offer hope, life, purpose, peace, fulfillment, relationships. People are not interested in ‘religion’ that tells them what they can’t do and that has no relevance to their everyday lives. This is very good news for us because our goal is to build real friendships with people we meet and model before them that being in a real relationship with Jesus makes a difference in a real way in real every day life!! Relationship….not religion. Good news for us all!

There is so much more to share and we will attempt to get better at sharing life more often via Blog! Please do view our videos as you’ll get a better sense of everyday life for us here in this amazing new city!!

Tot ziens! (until we meet again!)
Roxi and Bernie: living life in Amsterdam

Be very careful what you pray for….you just might get it!!!!

2008-12-04T17:32:00.000-08:00

I have never been one for fast rides and for sure have never, ever liked roller coasters. I remember several years ago when my kids were young, being shamed into taking my 10 year old son on the BEAST….what was I thinking??? He didn’t want to go and was scared to death of rides. I certainly didn’t want to go and was even more scared than him…BUT I gave in to peer pressure and took Josh on the Beast!!!! I remember seriously thinking, ‘this is the day we die’….what kind of mother am I??? As we approached to top I was getting sicker by the second. The anticipation of having to come back down was overwhelming. As I tried to make sure little Josh was safely held in, I realized I was totally out of control….there was no holding him back…no even holding my own head back. As we peaked at the top and started our crazy assent downward, Josh tried to release his buckles and jump out!!!! Oh my gosh….this was the scariest, longest few minutes of my life. I remember thinking I must be the biggest fool on the planet….young boy dies while jumping off the Beast…mother regrets taking him on the ride. To this day I get sick all over just thinking about that ride.

Well, this week we are just 30 days away from our departure to Amsterdam. We have been planning and praying for over a year now, and we have made the long journey to the top of the ride….and the next 30 days will be the very scarey crazy assent downward! Everything is totally out of control. Within the next 10 days we will pack everything we own (that we haven’t already sold) and either put it in storage, give it away, take it to the kids, or take it with us the Amsterdam. We will completely move out of our home. We will write our wills. We will set up our new international bank accounts. We will have our final Dr. visits. We will buy more life insurance (which, by the way, isn’t real easy if you are a ‘missionary’ by profession). We will sign over a Power of Attorney. We will leave our current jobs. We will go to many parties. We will make lots of time for our kids and granddaughters. We will go back to South Dakota to say our good byes to mom and family. We will go away for Christmas with our kids. We will have more parties. Drink more coffee. Say more good byes. Go to more dinner parties. Drink more coffee. Say more good byes. Go to a wedding on New Year’s Eve. Say more good byes. And then board our plane for Amsterdam!

God is always so good to remind us of things. He has been reminding me these days that even though I don’t like scary rides and feeling completely out of control, that these are all things I’ve prayed for!!! Things like, “God, I want to run the race and finish well,” or “God, I want to leave a legacy for my kids and grandkids of being ‘white hot’ for Jesus all the days of my life,” or “God, please don’t allow me to grow soft, complacent, settled, comfortable,” or “God, I want to always, always obey You, even when it’s really hard”…

Yeah, this is all stuff I’ve prayed for. God often times takes us much more seriously than we take ourselves!! The really sweet thing is that after I stepped off the Beast I knew I could survive WAY more than I ever thought I could!! Walking this journey out in faith has also shown me that I can survive WAY more than I thought I could!!!

Warning! Be very careful what you pray for!!!...and then get ready to enjoy the ride!!!

Friends!!

2008-11-10T13:18:00.000-08:00

Pastor Rich is teaching a sermon series on Wisdom…walking us through some of the Proverbs. Rich has covered some really important topics, such as Wisdom in our Sexuality, Wisdom in our Finances, etc. The entire series has been fabulous (as always!!) and yesterday’s sermon was no exception.

Wisdom in Choosing Friends!! Friends. You know, those people throughout life who will help ‘shape’ us….for better or for worse! Friends, who will hurt us or help us. Friends who will love us enough to tell us the truth. Friends who are ‘with us’ in the good times AND the challenging. Friends who see the best in us. Friends who will challenge us to be our best. Friends who hide our sins and our faults and will not gossip about us. Friends who have our backs. Friends who point us to Jesus!

I’ve been thinking a lot about all my friends these days. Thinking about how many totally amazing, awesome, generous, sacrificial friends I have!!! I was also thinking about how many different kinds of friends I have…and thanking God for each one of them and how special and unique they all are!

My friends are very colorful and very diverse in lots of ways!! I have very white American friends, wonderful African American friends, friends from all over Africa…South Africa, Ghana, Ethiopia, Morocco, Tanzania…friends from India, friends from Columbia, and new friends from Holland. I have very tall friends and very short friends. I have very young friends and very old friends….rich friends and poor friends…friends who follow Jesus and friends who are Muslim, new age, humanists, and other. I have friends who are very deep thinkers and friends who make me laugh. I have friends who are very new friends and friends who I’ve known for a life-time.

I’m sure you get my point….I LOVE my friends. ALL of them. I am humbled and always thankful for my life that is truly rich in friendships!!

I LOVE YOU ALL!!

Amazing Grace!

2008-11-03T14:58:00.000-08:00

Amazing Grace!

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

that saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost, and now am found,

was blind, but now I see! 

This has always been one of my very favorite old hymns and the words played over & over again in my head as Bernie & I celebrated 33 years of marriage last Saturday, November 1^st!!

I felt compelled to share a little bit of our/God’s story with you all…enjoy!

I don’t ever remember ‘not knowing’ Bernie! We grew up together in a small farm town in South Dakota. We lived within a few blocks of each other (although in a town of 500 people, everyone lived within a few blocks of each other!!). Bernie’s parents and my parents were good friends. Bernie was my BFF (best friend forever!) all through jr high and high school. We hung out together all the time with a group of our friends. I was shocked when Bernie asked me out for our first (alone) date. I was shocked again when he asked me to marry him (a year later!).

We were just kids and didn’t know much. I was 18 (just out of high school) and Bernie was 21 (legal drinking age) and in his second year of college when we ‘tied the knot.’ I can’t even imagine how our parents must have felt!!!!

The first seven years of our new lives appeared to be going well, but I knew that I was working hard to try to push down a growing restlessness building within me. More & more I was sensing a deep emptiness and I had no idea how to deal with it. We had 2 small children, 2 good jobs, a nice home…what more could I want??

Well, those of you who understand that gnawing pain I’m talking about…know that you can’t just ‘push it down’ or ignore it…so I tried to explain to Bernie (as best as I knew how) what was going on inside of me and then I moved towards making a list of things that I would ‘edit’ out of my life in an attempt to bring about ‘real happiness.’ I changed jobs, we moved, and changed everything else that was within my control…to no avail.

Still empty. Still unhappy. Still restless. Still searching.

I remember clearly thinking that if none of these things worked then the only other thing left to ‘change’ was my husband. I soon ‘edited’ Bernie out of my life.

The downward spiral. Entered into an emotional affair that progressed. I had to drink away all the guilt I was feeling to live with myself. The party lifestyle soon became the very dark lonely life I was living. My 2 small children were forced to live the nightmare I had created.

One night I cried out to my childhood, distant, ‘now I lay me down to sleep’, God…I was desperate. I had become someone I hated. I had become someone I didn’t know. I was sickened. I remember telling this distant God that He was my only hope. I was quickly destroying my life…and my children.

Amazing grace. How sweet the sound. God spoke to me through the works of a Christian book that I just decided to buy (right??). This distant God came up close and talked to me about a relationship….right where I was!!...dark, dirty, and in much need of forgiveness. He made sense of the cross. I understood my sin and my need for a Savior. He lifted me up, dusted me off, and woo’d me into a relationship. I very quickly responded with “I do”…and His amazing grace went to work in my life!!

That was 26 years ago and my life has been rich beyond measure. Jesus died for me. He set me free from sin and death. I owed Him everything…my very life!

I am still today humbled at God’s fingerprints on my life. I understand the ‘fear’ of the Lord, as I know what I am capable of and I don’t ever want to go back to the ‘me’ without Jesus.

God healed our marriage over time and much hard work…and many tears. He restored us and our family. We both know that God had a plan for our lives way beyond what we could imagine…and He was determined to save us, despite us!!

I am continually amazed at God’s love for me and His mercy over my life. I will always remember where I came from and Who bought me out!!

Amazing grace!

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me!

Letting Go

2008-10-27T12:07:00.000-07:00

I remember not that long ago driving down the street to the Pickerills yard sale. I was filled with emotion and great anticipation for all that julia would be experiencing as they literally sold their possessions in preparation for their new life in Amsterdam. I could not even imagine how she was 'holding up' emotionally as they walked through all the chaos of preparing to leave, and yet, upon arrival she seemed calm and very much at peace with the situation. It was very faith-building to watch how God had given them so much grace to move towards their new calling, but I remember thinking it would somehow be different for me!!

I was able to rationalize away lots of the peace because the Pickerills were at least able to pack up their little family and take with them! The thought of me selling everything I own AND leaving my little family seemed to be just too much!! I took great comfort in feeling like I had lots of time to prepare!!

Well...that time has gone SO very fast and I am so happy to report to you all that my Jesus was big enough to give me all the peace I needed to walk through my yard sale with just as much grace and ease!!!! I am truly giving Him ALL the glory as I KNOW none of it is me!! I am just way to weak when it comes to my kids and grandkids!!! It was really a super sweet experience filled w/ lots of amazing 'God stories' so I want to share some of them with you all!!

The day started very early for Bernie & I. We went out to start setting up tables around 7ish (yes, am, still dark) and it was drizzling and yucky!! We immediately prayed. We wanted to remind God (just in case He had forgotten) that this was our one day to get rid of lots of stuff!! We also asked Him to bring lots of people that weren't the typical 'yard sale' people. I am an avid 'yard saler' so I am very familiar with the mentality...you want everything for nothing!!! You go with $10-20 bucks in your pocket hoping to come back home w/ a van filled with treasures!! Anyway, we had lots of really nice stuff that we needed to sell for more than 50 cents, so we told God thanks for letting us use all this really great stuff...in our really sweet home...and we told Him we were giving it all back for Him to sell so we could do what He has asked us to do next...move to Amsterdam. We reminded Him that it would be really great if we could sell our/His stuff to make some money to pay off our debt and pay for some of our family get-a-way over Christmas. AND if this all wasn't enough we also reminded God that we were really late in attempting to rent our home by December 1st, so we asked Him to also send someone to the yard sale who may be a potential renter!!

Do you even realize what a great big God we have??? Do I??? He stopped the rain and He took what we called a 'yard sale' and turned it into an 'estate auction'!!!! Super sweet!! AND He gave us lots of great opportunity to spend time with our family and many great friends!! And He gave us lots of great opportunity to share 'why' in the world someone 'our age' would sell everything they own and move to Europe!!! AND He brought 2 people through who are potential renters!!!! It was totally like we through out our little fish and loaf and He multiplied it!!! literally!

One great story was that we sold our TV. (side note: this was a really big answered prayer for me as now bernie will have more time to help me!!) Anyway, the lady who bought it came back a couple hours later and told me her son didn't want it...he wanted to wait for a flat screen. I said, "no problem, let me get you your money"...and she said, "no, I want you to keep that money, but I brought the TV back so you could 'sell it again!!!'" multiplication!! God's way!!

Another amazing story...a woman asked if I had any rugs for sale. I said "no"...nothing I want to sell at a 'yard sale.' I told her I had a really nice rug, but that I was planning to sell it on craigs list because I needed to get more money for it. She wanted to look, so I showed her and told her what I would want for it. She had no problem with that. Then she asked about my leather ottoman. I (jokingly) told her their was a 'bidding war' on that piece!! She entered the war and wrote out her bid along w/ her phone number and told me to call her later. I looked at her 'bid' later in the day and about dropped when I saw she had offered me $350.00 for a piece I had marked $100.00!!!! People don't do this!! This does not happen at 'yard sales!!'

Funny story...we even somehow sold bernie's daily devotional!!! Too funny!! Things were flying out the door and people were just grabbing up and buying everything!!

It was a very surreal day as we sold almost everything we own and God brought in amazing money and people!!! There is something very freeing about letting go of all your possessions and yet challenging because of all the memories attached to them. I learned lots of stuff that day... God pays for what He orders, God gives and takes away, stuff is just stuff, love is so much more valuable than stuff, God does stop the rain, I can survive way more than I thought,...and on and on!

We now move towards the challenge of packing everything left into a few suitcases!! Remember those days when you were in college and everything you owned fit in your car??? We are there once again and enjoying it all!!

Appropriate thought for the day...

2008-10-04T20:41:00.001-07:00

"Life is no straight and easy corridor along

which we travel free and unhampered,

but a maze of passages,

through which we must seek our way,

lost and confused, now and again

checked in a blind alley.

But always, if we have faith,

a door will open for us,

not perhaps one that we ourselves

would ever have thought of,

but one that will ultimately

prove good for us."

A.J. Cronin

being intentional

2008-10-03T20:05:00.000-07:00

i am realizing more each day how much and how quickly my life is changing all around me. each and every day seems to hold a new sense of urgency as the 'to do' lists continue to grow and the countdown to amsterdam is imminent. what is really important...what really needs to be done...where and with whom do i spend my time? priorities? what does it look like to 'leave well?'

a huge priority is helping my family through this time of transition. we started a family gathering every monday night to be intentional about spending time together with the goal of creating space to talk about the process of change, brainstorm about creative ways to communicate, begin new traditions, build new & lasting memories, eat good food, laugh, pray and enjoy each other!! it's been so fun and i have realized throughout the past three weeks just how thankful i am for this time of change in our family. we are planning for and doing things that we would have 'wanted' to do but would have never done had we not been moving. we are doing the stuff that really matters. we are being intentional about defining who we are as a family and finding lots of creative ways to capture these values so we can all leave a lasting legacy to the next generation!! we are all blogging on our 'family only' blog. we are brainstorming ideas for a family crest. we will begin a handwritten 'family journal'. we are taking the time each week to verbally bless one specific person!! we have started with the little girls and we have had to remind each of them that they can only say words that are encouraging!!! this is a great reminder for us all! how different would life be if we were intentional every week to specifically and verbally bless someone in our family?

at the end of the day life is very simple; love God and love others!!

thanks family for loving me well and for being so easy to love!!!

roxi/ mom/ grama roxi

The Invitation

2008-09-16T18:35:00.000-07:00

i did it!! i actually finished my first ever extended fast. i have never gotten very far in attempting to fast as i am hypoglycemic (i wonder what the dutch word is for that??) and so i've never gotten too far on the whole fasting thing, but i really sensed Jesus asking me to try it again and to give it 5 days!!!! so, i did and it was really amazing! yes, i did eat my evening meal but made it through my first 5 days w/out passing out, and i had such an awesome time. i was reminded over & over again of just how merciful and generous and extravagant our Jesus is...especially when we step out & take a risk in obeying Him!!!

i really felt called into this fast to get up closer to Jesus and to give Him back some of the burdens that i kept taking back for myself...things that i have been calling the 'mountains' that will need to be moved before we can seriously make this move to Amsterdam. i know these are 'mountains' that God Himself will have to move, but i kept looking at my/our own very limited resource and wondering 'how' this is ever going to work?? anyway, i was soon to realize that 'my' plan and God's plan in this fast were different (surprise, surprise!!)

the first day of my fast was sept.2, 2008. as i've done for the past 25 years i read my chambers devotion to start off my day. the title was "The Sacrament of Sacrifice" and he referenced Mary of Bethany pouring out the ointment on Jesus head...and in the closing chapter he says, "it is time now to break the life, to cease craving for satisfaction, and to spill the thing out. Our Lord is asking who of us will do that for Him?"

i read it over again. it was one of those devotions that really grabbed me. i knew that Jesus was really wanting me to 'get it'. all those passages about 'losing your life' and 'dying to self' were being brought to mind. i was drawn into the presence of our heavenly Father and it was sweet...but challenging.

my time of fasting and praying continued on and by day 3 i knew i really needed to take some time to journal about everything that Jesus was speaking to me during this fast. so much was being said and i didn't want to miss anything, so i packed up my journal, Bible, Chambers devotional, and left for Starbucks. i couldn't believe it when i opened my journal to start writing....

journal entry Aug. 31, 2007!!! LUNCH WITH ERIC PICKERILL.....

FREAKING OUT....WHAT I PLANNED TO TALK W/ ERIC ABOUT SEEMED LIKE SO NOT WHAT GOD WAS DOING.

THE INVITATION was given to pray about considering joining them in this mission to Amsterdam!!

journal entry Sept. 2, 2007!!! Chambers..."the Lord is asking WHO of us will do this for Him?"

Is God calling us to 'sacrafice' everything and join Him in this mission to Amsterdam??

and we know the answer. so NOT what i was expecting. so NOT what i had planned for at my little lunch w/ eric. so NOT what i ever thought God was ask me to do with my life. didn't fit. too scary. too risky. too costly.

and then the Holy Spirit reminded me of my personal prayer the year prior....that i would be know to my kids, grandkids, others as a woman after God's heart. that i would never be allowed to 'settle in' and get comfortable. that i would always take risks for the Kingdom. that i would surrender all my gifts, talents, abilities to be used by the Lord however and whenever and 'wherever' He chose (should have left out the 'wherever' part). that i would be white hot for Jesus until the day i could not. that i would finish the race well.

be very careful what you pray for. it is clear our Jesus takes us much more seriously than we take ourselves!! He calls us out. He invades our space. He messes with our plans.

He invites us into His dance!!! He invites us to leap mountains with Him!! He challenges us out of our comfort zone!!

He answers our prayers.

He reminds us of our history. He has proven faithful in my life time & time again. He has shown me His mercy & grace over & over again.

He dares us to dream.

And then i was reminded that as John Wimber said, "faith is spelled r-i-s-k". This is the life i want. to be fully alive, fully engaged...taking risks with Jesus until i can't!!!

thank you Eric for inviting me/us into your dream.

thank you Jesus for inviting me/us into your dance.

thank you my tif & d', aubrei, a'daira, ayden, josh & abby, ali, & levi for releasing us to accept this invitation. you are truly making a costly sacrifice. but, this is Jesus plan for you too!! do you hear His invitation to you? what dance is He inviting you into? i hope you dance!

thank you church for releasing me/us. for challenging us. for allowing us to dream.

and to all who are reading this blog, our Jesus invites you too!! "who will do this for me?"

i hope you dance!

animal house

2008-09-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

i guess you don't have to be living in amsterdam to be experiencing 'issues' with animals!! i figure since my amazing team leaders have shared their most urgent prayer requests with all of you blog readers then we are free to share our animal stories & prayer requests as well!!

so here is a peek into my week thus far...

i awoke last thursday to find my beloved parakeet (nameless) laying all crumpled up in his food dish. dead. very dead. and did you know that when birds die (or at least 'my' bird) they don't get all stiff like people....they get all crumpled. i was so saddened. i called bernie @ work to share the tragic news (in tears). he graciously offered to come home over lunch and properly dispose (take out in a garbage bag) of my beloved nameless parakeet. In all fairness to bernie he did offer to give my bird a proper burial in the back yard next to the fish pond.

bernie has gained some wisdom over the years. he kept his insensitive animal comments to himself & very quietly 'disposed' of the bird!

i did thank God that the bird died in my home & not after i had given him to my granddaughters. bernie thanked God that the bird died in his food dish and all he had to do was remove the food dish w/ the bird in it!!

THEN for my dog 'issues'...

Ryo (the Dutch word for 'emotional black hole) has allergies every summer. Of course this summer is the worst she has ever been! We have been keeping her little cone on her head so she cannot chew herself up, BUT she is as smart as julia's mice and has figured out how to work her little cone off! We came home from church on Sunday to find Ryo in my bedroom chewing away at herself!!! She had her entire back end chewed up so bad she was bleeding!!! I could/can hardly stand to look at her. We are giving her Benadryl around the clock! Any suggestions?? Maybe I should be googling!!

AND both of our cats are having allergy 'issues' as well. They are both sneezing everywhere and coughing up all kinds of hairballs!!

Seriously, I keep telling God that I don't have time to deal with all these animal 'issues.'

If any of you knows anyone who has a heart for a special needs, very adorable and affectionate, West Highland Terrier please let me know!!! We are in desperate need of finding good homes for all of our animals (minus the bird!).

Hearing from God in unexpected places...

2008-09-01T18:43:00.000-07:00

ok, so here is the 'God story' from my trip to Wisconsin....

I was totally looking forward to this little road trip for a number of reasons. I was really excited to spend some great time traveling with Ali. I cherish any time that I can spend with my kids; especially one on one! I couldn't wait to catch up with my life long friend Rhonda and her family. I was looking forward to the wide open space and the much needed time to pause and listen for God in fresh new ways.

Ali & I had a great week catching up with dear old friends and I was thanking God for allowing us this time together and a chance for me to hit the pause button. I was totally not expecting what happened the day before we came home.

Rhonda wanted me to visit her church with her. She had described her church to me and told me how much she loved it...it sounded so much like VCC only on a much smaller scale. The senior pastor had spent the entire summer in Europe with his wife and children and was not to be back until the following week. Rhonda was really bummed as she wanted me to meet pastor Mike! As we walked into the church....there he was! I thought...cool...maybe I will get to meet him & we can chat about Europe!

The service began w/ a familiar worship song and then they paused to watch a video from World Vision. Again, I was thinking...sweet! a small country church with a vision for the world!!! THEN pastor Mike got up to speak. He had been away from his little church for 3 months and this was his first day back....he was so excited as he began to share about his summer in Europe!!! HOW CRAZY!! here I am sitting in the middle of the great outdoors....surrounded by corn fields and cows and this pastor is sharing with his church about the spiritual needs in Europe!!! What are the chances....??? THEN he began his sermon. The text was Elijah & Elisha. This is what I had been reading in my personal quiet time!!! MORE convergence!!! His sermon was all about God calling us to partner with Him and how He wants to bless us as we learn to trust and obey Him!!!! We looked at how Elisha responded to the call of God. He said 'good-bye' to his mother & father and left!!! At this point I was quite hot...not sure if it was just another 'hot flash' or the Holy Spirit!!! He went on to share how often times we miss God's blessings because we are to afraid or insecure to trust God!!! I was frozen...I seriously felt like I was the only person in the church and God was speaking through pastor Mike directly to ME!!! It was such incredible confirmation ONCE AGAIN!!! I was humbled by God's intimate love for me.

It was a holy time.

I met pastor Mike after the service & shared with him that I was moving to Amsterdam in January with a team of folks to plant a church there. He had spent several days in Amsterdam & met w/ the pastor of Crossroads International!!! Bernie & I visited that church in May while in Amsterdam!!!

CRAZY!!!! and I'm sure I am leaving stuff out....it was just so crazy....SO like our God!!!

Obviously I returned home with a fresh new energy for this new chapter!!! I am continually reminded of how much God loves us and wants us to know His will. He is so incredibly BIG and EVERYWHERE and yet so intimate and personal. I love how He is always surprising me!! I love that He shows up in the most unexpected places and times!!

I love that He has no limits. He is the God of Vineyard Columbus. The God of Faith Community in New Richmond Wisconsin. The God of Vineyard Amsterdam.....

and He desires to be known and heard!!!

catching up!

2008-08-29T07:38:00.000-07:00

wow, i just realized a couple of months have gone by and i have not updated our blog!! obviously us 'older' people will continue to need more grace as we attempt to become more tech savvy!! in our defense we did have our computer crash and some other annoying tech issues, but we're back on line and will try to communicate more often!!

LOTS is happening as we continue to transition towards Amsterdam! Here are some of our current updates:

1) we are at 85% of our support!!! praise God for His provision and all the generous people that have been called to partner with us! we are still in need of 6 people to commit to $100/month....very do-able! our personal goal is to cross the finish line by October!

2) our home is in TOTAL chaos as we prepare to rent! we are (with MUCH help from friends) painting (back to neutral...sad face), cleaning up the yard, updating, packing, throwing, sorting, ....!!! it really doesn't look much like home anymore, but we are excited and ready to set up our new home in amsterdam!!

please pray for good renters who would move in Oct/Nov!! our desire is to be moved out before Thanksgiving so we can spend time with our family over the holidays without having to be packing and moving!!

3) levi is planning to move out in a couple of weeks!! he is moving in with a group of great guys who live near our church. this is a total provision from the Lord for him & he is looking forward to it! i'm hoping he will figure out quickly that clean laundry doesn't just appear miraculously on your shelves...or groceries in your frig....! God has been so good to provide levi w/ a great job...full benefits! he is planning to work & start school winter quarter!!

4) bernie will be taking a class this quarter to finish up his BA (after 30+ years!). please pray for him/us as this is such a busy time and he will need to add studying to the schedule!! it's a very good thing that God is SO very big!!

5) the pickerills have been in amsterdam for ONE MONTH!!! God is providing in amazingly quick ways!! they are moved in to an awesome apartment, they have their i-phone, they have the boys in school, they have shared Jesus with their broker, made many new friends, and are LOVING life in amsterdam!! brooke c. has been in amsterdam now for 2 WEEKS!!! she is looking at apartments, riding bikes, learning to shop at the markets, and LOVING life in amsterdam!!! SO 1/2 our team is ON THE FIELD and experiencing much of God's provision & kindness!

6) we are spending as much time as we can with our family and friends. ali (my youngest daughter) and i took a 'road trip' to northern wisconsin last week to visit dear friends and have some 'mom & ali time!' we had a great time together & with our friends. we were in total farm land....no cell phone reception, etc....it was some much needed 'down' time. we enjoyed the beauty of the great outdoors...tall pine trees, stars in the great big sky, peaceful rivers, humming birds. we also had some great food and got a personal pottery class!! AND best of all i came home with another awesome 'God story!!' i will have to share my story on another blog....it really needs a whole blog!!!

...all for now! we are loving this amazing life and are always thankful for our awesome family and friends who share life with us!!!

pressing on!

roxi

living in the tension...

2008-06-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

It has now been six months since Bernie & I were invited to move to Amsterdam to plant a church with a team of ‘dangerous dreamers!’ This has been a crazy few months filled with excitement, anticipation, growth, tears, prayer, team building, planning, grieving, fish oil, etc., etc. We have so much to prepare for to move towards our future call and so much to be fully engaged in here!

I have been confronted with my own complacency and realizing just how ‘settled’ into my lifestyle I am. After all, isn’t that what you do in mid-life? Words that come to mind to describe our age group are words like: ‘empty nesters’, stability, security, familiar, comfortable, calm, safety…and yet, this life I/we have been called to seems somewhat scary, uncertain, unknown, risky, adventurous. I haven’t quite figured out what my life should look like in this ‘in between’ stage, but I have figured out that my life does not look like the normal life of a person in mid-age!!! I know I don’t quite ‘fit’ and am living every area of my life in a place of ‘tension.’

In an attempt to further prepare for our move we have been making an effort to cut some of the fluff out of our budget…things like canceling service to our home phones, canceling our Blockbuster membership, cutting back on Starbucks (REALLY hard), etc. I told Bernie, “we need to stop living like we are staying here and live more like we are preparing for another place,” and as I said this I was reminded that this is the way we are to always live our lives as followers of Jesus!!! We are challenged to live a life that is very different from many of our friends! We are called to ‘lose our lives’ to be fully surrendered to the life God has for us! This means being willing to live a life of sacrifice…not always being comfortable, not always financially secure, not always surrounded by family and friends, not always knowing where we will live, not always very calm, not always in control…clearly a place of tension!!

So, for today (my birthday!)…. I thank God for my very full, crazy, unpredictable, challenging life…as I live each day to the fullest here and prepare for my future life somewhere else…

Pressing On,
Roxi (living in the tension)

I'm thankful for...

2008-06-25T20:41:00.001-07:00

I was reminded last night of what an incredibly full life I live!! It was 'just' another Tuesday night and it could have passed by like every other Tuesday night, BUT as my head hit the pillow I paused to thank God for all the blessings He had given me in just one evening. ...SO many little things that I take for granted, like having an awesome dinner on the patio with my hubby and my good friend Kristi who left for Morocco this morning on a short term mission trip, our good friend Jed just stopping by to say "hi", picking up our Moroccans friends to take them out for ice-cream (this was a new experience for them...they didn't even know how to order!), getting a call from our dear friend Ralph who wanted to meet us for ice-cream (so he joined us at Graeters), having our favorite son-in-law & our three brilliant granddaughters join us for ice-cream, then my dear friend Melba showed up (Ralph's wife), then my beautiful daughter Tif showed up, then we were off to the park so the kids could run & play, then back to Omar & Aicha's for cake and mint tea, then home at last to my nice little home in the burbs for another nights rest!!!

I am thankful for my home, my faithful friend and hubby who is also an amazing cook and a great host, my incredible 4 children and their partners, great food, good wine, treasured friends, a church that hosts short term mission trips, the opportunity to have gone to Morocco the past 2 years, my God who has been faithful to give me a love for people different from myself, photographs, memories, friends who just 'stop by', new friends, old friends, young friends, friends from Morocco, coffee ice-cream, waffle cones, a son in law that I love like my own sons, 3 granddaughters that I treasure with all of my heart, parks, beautiful warm evenings, stars, Moroccan cake & mint tea and avocado smoothies, my old dirty van, enough money to buy gas & ice-cream, my house with all the food & dirty dishes waiting for me, my nice comfy bed...

and another new day!!!

Pressing On!

roxi (thankful for life!!)

on the learning curve...

2008-06-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

Wow, we are on the learning curve in every area of life these days!! Bernie & I both had visions of being 'empty nesters' after 30 years of child rearing. We had dreams of nice quiet evenings, a neat & tidy home, less garbage, less laundry, less cooking,...and instead we are embarking on the biggest adventure of our lives!! Is this a mid-life crisis or is this really God calling us to be dangerous dreamers and move to Amsterdam with a team of amazing friends (who are also dangerous dreamers) to plant a church?? Seriously, I've given God lots of opportunity to let us stay and it seems He has some awesome blessing for us if we trust Him with this!! SO, we are the grandparents on the team and very obviously the ones who need to get a little more savvy with all the 'social networking' (or more appropriately, anti-social networking!). Someone needs to write a book called BLOGGING FOR DUMMIES (maybe I could tackle that in all my spare time). But, once again, God is good and bigger than us, and here we are...all up and running (with some tweaking still to be done). It really is encouraging that you CAN teach old dogs new tricks!! We are living proof!! AND learning to set up a blogspot is just one of the many new things I/we've been learning these days: we're learning how to be fully engaged in this culture and yet fully preparing to move to Amsterdam, learning how to ride the tram in Amsterdam, learning the difference between a 'coffee shop' in Amsterdam and a coffee shop in Columbus, learning to live with a lot of messes, learning to pray harder than I/we've ever prayed, learning how to more fully surrender all, learning how to leave our jobs, church, friends, learning how to say 'goodbye' to life as we now know it and how to say 'hello' to our new lives, how to relate differently as a family as we prepare to communicate through skype (whatever that is!), learning to trust God for our support,...and on and on! All in all this is a really exciting time and we are anticipating all the sweet things God has for us over the next few years. We are also ready to tackle all the transitions...good & bad...it is a bittersweet time and through it all our God is bigger than ever!

pressing on!...seriously
roxi & bernie (on the learning curves of life)