living in the tension...

It has now been six months since Bernie & I were invited to move to Amsterdam to plant a church with a team of ‘dangerous dreamers!’ This has been a crazy few months filled with excitement, anticipation, growth, tears, prayer, team building, planning, grieving, fish oil, etc., etc. We have so much to prepare for to move towards our future call and so much to be fully engaged in here!

I have been confronted with my own complacency and realizing just how ‘settled’ into my lifestyle I am. After all, isn’t that what you do in mid-life? Words that come to mind to describe our age group are words like: ‘empty nesters’, stability, security, familiar, comfortable, calm, safety…and yet, this life I/we have been called to seems somewhat scary, uncertain, unknown, risky, adventurous. I haven’t quite figured out what my life should look like in this ‘in between’ stage, but I have figured out that my life does not look like the normal life of a person in mid-age!!! I know I don’t quite ‘fit’ and am living every area of my life in a place of ‘tension.’

In an attempt to further prepare for our move we have been making an effort to cut some of the fluff out of our budget…things like canceling service to our home phones, canceling our Blockbuster membership, cutting back on Starbucks (REALLY hard), etc. I told Bernie, “we need to stop living like we are staying here and live more like we are preparing for another place,” and as I said this I was reminded that this is the way we are to always live our lives as followers of Jesus!!! We are challenged to live a life that is very different from many of our friends! We are called to ‘lose our lives’ to be fully surrendered to the life God has for us! This means being willing to live a life of sacrifice…not always being comfortable, not always financially secure, not always surrounded by family and friends, not always knowing where we will live, not always very calm, not always in control…clearly a place of tension!!

So, for today (my birthday!)…. I thank God for my very full, crazy, unpredictable, challenging life…as I live each day to the fullest here and prepare for my future life somewhere else…


Pressing On,
Roxi (living in the tension)

I'm thankful for...

I was reminded last night of what an incredibly full life I live!! It was 'just' another Tuesday night and it could have passed by like every other Tuesday night, BUT as my head hit the pillow I paused to thank God for all the blessings He had given me in just one evening. ...SO many little things that I take for granted, like having an awesome dinner on the patio with my hubby and my good friend Kristi who left for Morocco this morning on a short term mission trip, our good friend Jed just stopping by to say "hi", picking up our Moroccans friends to take them out for ice-cream (this was a new experience for them...they didn't even know how to order!), getting a call from our dear friend Ralph who wanted to meet us for ice-cream (so he joined us at Graeters), having our favorite son-in-law & our three brilliant granddaughters join us for ice-cream, then my dear friend Melba showed up (Ralph's wife), then my beautiful daughter Tif showed up, then we were off to the park so the kids could run & play, then back to Omar & Aicha's for cake and mint tea, then home at last to my nice little home in the burbs for another nights rest!!!

I am thankful for my home, my faithful friend and hubby who is also an amazing cook and a great host, my incredible 4 children and their partners, great food, good wine, treasured friends, a church that hosts short term mission trips, the opportunity to have gone to Morocco the past 2 years, my God who has been faithful to give me a love for people different from myself, photographs, memories, friends who just 'stop by', new friends, old friends, young friends, friends from Morocco, coffee ice-cream, waffle cones, a son in law that I love like my own sons, 3 granddaughters that I treasure with all of my heart, parks, beautiful warm evenings, stars, Moroccan cake & mint tea and avocado smoothies, my old dirty van, enough money to buy gas & ice-cream, my house with all the food & dirty dishes waiting for me, my nice comfy bed...

and another new day!!!

Pressing On!

roxi (thankful for life!!)

on the learning curve...

Wow, we are on the learning curve in every area of life these days!! Bernie & I both had visions of being 'empty nesters' after 30 years of child rearing. We had dreams of nice quiet evenings, a neat & tidy home, less garbage, less laundry, less cooking,...and instead we are embarking on the biggest adventure of our lives!! Is this a mid-life crisis or is this really God calling us to be dangerous dreamers and move to Amsterdam with a team of amazing friends (who are also dangerous dreamers) to plant a church?? Seriously, I've given God lots of opportunity to let us stay and it seems He has some awesome blessing for us if we trust Him with this!! SO, we are the grandparents on the team and very obviously the ones who need to get a little more savvy with all the 'social networking' (or more appropriately, anti-social networking!). Someone needs to write a book called BLOGGING FOR DUMMIES (maybe I could tackle that in all my spare time). But, once again, God is good and bigger than us, and here we are...all up and running (with some tweaking still to be done). It really is encouraging that you CAN teach old dogs new tricks!! We are living proof!! AND learning to set up a blogspot is just one of the many new things I/we've been learning these days: we're learning how to be fully engaged in this culture and yet fully preparing to move to Amsterdam, learning how to ride the tram in Amsterdam, learning the difference between a 'coffee shop' in Amsterdam and a coffee shop in Columbus, learning to live with a lot of messes, learning to pray harder than I/we've ever prayed, learning how to more fully surrender all, learning how to leave our jobs, church, friends, learning how to say 'goodbye' to life as we now know it and how to say 'hello' to our new lives, how to relate differently as a family as we prepare to communicate through skype (whatever that is!), learning to trust God for our support,...and on and on! All in all this is a really exciting time and we are anticipating all the sweet things God has for us over the next few years. We are also ready to tackle all the transitions...good & bad...it is a bittersweet time and through it all our God is bigger than ever!

pressing on!...seriously
roxi & bernie (on the learning curves of life)